I think I'm going to Ghana.

http://www.abatours.com/crafts.htm shows some of the available crafts, and they specialize in cultural tours of Ghana. I'll probably hire them to do the research and tell me how to get to the interesting spots, but go on my own, so I have maximum schedule flexibility.

Weaving at last!

Sat down at the loom and started weaving yesterday! And I skipped my gym workout this morning (yes, yes, bad, I know) to do some more weaving...I've done about 9" of weaving thus far, and plan to do more after work today.

Some thoughts on the weaving:

(1) Getting an even beat is really hard. For better or worse (better for learning, worse for final appearance), my project is arranged in neat squares in the weaving. Only, some of them are squares, some of them are short rectangles, and some of them are long rectangles, depending on how hard/easy I beat the shed after each pick. (Translated from weaverspeak: how hard I pushed down the thread after laying down a new line of weft.)

I'm working at it and have managed to get a few squares (as opposed to rectangles) so far, but I have to pay attention. I'm actually glad I did a project in squares: yeah, it won't look as nice as if I'd done something less exacting, but this way I get direct feedback on how even my beat is, which is a wonderful learning tool.

(2) Color. Rainbow was a mistake for this project, I think--there's such a confusion of color that the pattern isn't showing up very well. The resulting shawl looks WAY too busy. I'm tempted to redo this project in monochrome, seven shades of, say, a nice brown. I think it would look a lot better, and it would give me a chance to do a dye series--I haven't done much work with pastel dyeing, so it would be a good experiment that way. Only catch is, I have no experience with dyeing pastels (which is trickier than dyeing dark colors), so there's a good chance of messing it up. On the other hand, there's no way I'll learn it if I don't try it, so...I will probably do it anyway.

(3) Weaving requires a LOT of patience. Crossed warps, mistakes in threading--lots of stuff that needs to get fixed before you can get to weaving. Hopefully I'll make fewer of those mistakes as time goes on, but the setup takes a LOOOONG time.

Other thoughts for today:

I am probably going to scratch on the trip to Nigeria, as my research has pretty much universally been "it's too dangerous". Nigeria is one of the least stable countries in Africa, and that's saying something.

However, the idea of going to Africa and exploring textile arts has not gone away--it's just a matter of going somewhere else (hopefully a little more stable) and looking around. Unfortunately, I'm not sure where else in Africa they have accessible textile arts (i.e. where I would be able to find textile artists within a few weeks' visit), and there's relatively little in the guidebooks about textiles, so I'm trying to figure out where to go. If any of you know people who have been to Africa recently/live in Africa, can you put me in touch with them? I'd love to find out more about textile traditions in Africa.

I'm particularly interested in Madagascar and Kenya at the moment, but that could shift in a heartbeat. I've picked up a copy of Lonely Planet's "Africa on a Shoestring", to give me an idea of what other attractions there are in the various countries of Africa. They don't cover textiles, but they do give a general sense of what else is in the country.

Warped!

By ignoring the housework, shortening my training ride, and not bothering to eat, I got my warping finished today. The loom is now dressed and ready to weave...all that's left is to wind the bobbins, load the shuttle, and...start weaving!

I did break two warp threads in the orange, but am hoping that's not too bad...I tied the ends together to join them temporarily, I figure I'll fix the thread as I come to it.

Whew! I'm exhausted. Warping the loom took something like nine hours, most of it spent on my knees threading the loom. Painstaking, concentrated attention--not unpleasant (except for my knees), but definitely took lots of mental focus.

Now I think I'll go eat, fold clean laundry, take the trash out, do the dishes, and all the other stuff I've been neglecting.

THEN I'll come back and start weaving. :-)

Nigeria

Hmm.

I stumbled across this today while investigating textile tours: http://www.nikeart.com/tours.htm

It sounds really, really, really interesting--and I love Third World travel, and have always wanted to go to Africa--but it would be expensive, and the travel advisories on Nigeria are pretty dire. One or the other wouldn't necessarily stop me, but the combination might. I'm thinking about it, and will probably do some more research over the next few days.

I should add that there's no WAY I'd visit Nigeria on my own, given the travel warnings--but visiting is very different when you have a local guide who can advise you about dangerous areas, local customs, and so on. Having a guide and a car makes it a lot safer, and it looks like a treasury for someone interested in local arts/crafts/culture, as I am.

I'm seriously considering going there for three weeks sometime between February and April.

Meanwhile, my loom parts should arrive today, which means I can FINALLY start warping up the loom! I'm excited. I spent all last night painting the metal bars that hold the heddles with fingernail polish, so they're easily distinguishable from each other (makes threading easier, or so they say). But actually being able to put warp on the loom will be really cool.

Nigeria. Hmm.

More on weaving, workouts

Had a good workout Wednesday--the kind that makes you pop up and realize, "OH! That's why I'm doing this!". My personal trainer has got me focusing on leg exercises now, and has put together a strenuous workout that is exactly what I need to build muscle in preparation for training season.

Oddly, where I had little to no enthusiasm for training before, I'm suddenly feeling eager to get back on the bike. Don't know where the shift came in, perhaps because I'm not preoccupied with the book at the moment. I'm going to keep on writing it, but it doesn't have the intensity right now that it did while I was working on my proposal.

Whatever it is, I'm now seriously interested in riding again, which makes me happy.

I have dyed all the extra yarn and measured out almost all of the warp. I'm moderately happy with the dyeing job--the green came out slightly yellower than the first dyelot and the gold is a shade darker, but other than that the colors match almost perfectly. I think I have enough yarn that I can keep each stripe the same dyelot--that would be nice. (At worst I can use two shuttles and alternate dyelots, to blend out color differences, but it would be a real pain in the butt and I'd prefer not to.)

I'm basically done measuring out the warp. I wound the warp in stripes, two of each color, because that was the easiest way of doing it. I have twelve warp strands of red to finish winding--the extra red skein I dyed wasn't dry yet when I was doing the rest--and then the warp will be fully wound. I've already tied the warp chains onto the loom, preparing to sley the reed.

Which I don't have yet. I've got an 8-dent reed (8 holes/inch) that came with the loom, and a 12-dent reed that's due to arrive tomorrow. Technically I *could* use the 8-dent reed, but the 12-dent would be better. It all depends on whether I can stand to wait one extra day for the 12-dent to arrive...aagh!! Why, oh why, isn't there a weaving shop in San Francisco that carries these things? What's wrong with instant gratification?

Meanwhile, I am working very hard at NOT buying any more yarn until I use up the stuff I've got. This would be easier if I didn't keep looking at these gorgeous cashmere yarns from ColourMart in the U.K. *sigh* But I have a pound of silk coming to me already, and I have a very finite amount of room for storage, so...*shrug*

I can't WAIT to get all my stuff so I can start weaving.

Grumble.

Well, I'm cranky.

(a) I've been down for the past two days with a bug that is making me sleep a lot--enough that I decided to work from home yesterday and today. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow.

(b), which is more annoying: I discovered today that I didn't dye enough yarn--only about half of what I needed, owing to having misread the directions--and have spent the day hastily dyeing more yarn. The problem is, now I have yarns from different dyelots, and they are probably not going to match perfectly even though the dye formulations are the same. I'm going to have to mix dyelots in the weft, and this is making me cranky. The good news (and what I'm banking on) is that there's going to be so much going on, color-wise, that it's likely not going to be too noticeable. The other good news is that because I *did* measure everything out and record my measurements, reproducing the approximate color is a piece of cake. Chalk one up for the scientific background--I'm glad I measured everything!

Mail-ordered a pound or so of 2-ply silk yarn today, planning to dye it or else weave it plain. Haven't decided yet--will know more once it arrives.

Started measuring out my warp today (that's how I found out I didn't have enough yarn--I ran out of the red) and have a couple of warp chains already measured. Red and orange are done, and I've done one of the two yellow stripes. I'm hoping I did it right--not looking forward to the tangles if I got it wrong. But we'll see.

Meanwhile, I stopped by Goodwill and bought some winter clothes--long sleeved sweaters and the like. I bought five of them for about $55. (This was a "Goodwill boutique," so more expensive. Better quality stuff than usual, though.) I have a real problem with going out and buying stuff in department stores--mostly because clothes there are so EXPENSIVE! I mean, yeah, I'm comfortably overpaid like most people in high-tech, but still, the idea of paying $80-150 for a sweater is a bit ludicrous to me. I'd rather let someone else pay $150 for it and then buy it at a thrift shop for $10. That's $140 that I can put towards weaving tools, or the book, or ____.

Hope this bug is over quickly--planning (tentatively) to go work out tomorrow morning.

Dyeing yarn

Well, let's see.

I have now abandoned the idea of "let's do a moderately beginner-type project" and have launched into doing the project I really wanted to do, woven at a 24-epi sett in a 2/14 silk/wool yarn. (If you don't have my newly-acquired jargon, that translates to "laceweight".) At Custom Handweavers yesterday, I found out that they didn't have Jaggerspun Zephyr in the colors specified in the pattern, but they DID have a one-pound cone of white Zephyr.

Oh.

Yep, that meant only one thing: buy the 1-lb cone and DYE it! So I have spent a good chunk of today (in between making dinner, doing the laundry, adoring the cats, reading back issues of Handwoven, and all the other stuff that has to get done on weekends) skeining up the yarn, selecting colors, and dyeing the yarn. I'm just about done now--only two skeins left to go.

True to my roots, I decided on a rainbow shawl. (I was in the "tie-dye" house at Caltech--does it still show? LOL) But I deliberately chose a muted rainbow for this particular project...rich red, red-orange, golden yellow, mossy green, indigo, and grape, rather than brilliant blue, orange, red, yellow, etc. I'm hoping this avoids some of the more spectacular color clashes, and hope it doesn't turn into mud when the muted colors start blending. I suppose I'll find out once it's on the loom.

(I could, of course, weave a small sample and find out that way--hmm, perhaps that's not a bad idea. I could do a small color sample to see what happens when each of the six colors blends with the others - six stripes in the warp and six colors in the weft, maybe 1" on a side. Have to check and see whether I have the extra yarn first, though.)

I always think it's so unfair that life is so short. There are so many experiments I'd like to do and will never get around to...it's stuff like this that keeps me running around from place to place. I know I can't get everything in, but at least I can try to avoid wasting time.

Speaking of not getting everything in, it appears that Mike and I will be going to China next year instead of to India. I'm a bit disappointed about not going to India (it would have been nice to see Lena, Joy, and Nyondo again) but it'll be nice to have Mike with me on the China trip with my mom and brother.

This does leave me, though, with three weeks of vacation this year or next that I'll need to find something to do with. I am considering two weeks of working on the book at Thompson Peak Retreat, and also a two-week fiber arts guided tour to ____ (Peru, Mexico, etc.). I'm also considering going off to India on my own, though I dunno--India I'd rather tackle in pairs.

(One of the biggest benefits of working for Adobe, IMO, is the staggeringly generous vacation policy. Every employee gets 4 weeks and 4 days of vacation per year! OK, we don't get days like President's Day, Columbus Day, etc. off, but that's a minor note--I'd rather get extra vacation than preassigned three-day weekends. Adobe rocks!)

I'm just about done with the purple yarn, leaving only a little bit of black to go. Should finish it by the time I go to bed tonight, and hopefully it'll be dry when I get home from work tomorrow. Then I need to convert it into balls of yarn (oh where, oh where, has my swift gone?), saw down that 5/8" dowel into warping pegs, and start winding the warp. O joy! Soon I will be weaving.

I did a little more investigation into replacing the marble slab, and it looks like it will be more expensive than I'd thought (around $500), so I think I'll keep the old slab for now. I may take Mike's advice and try buffing out the scratches myself--might see if I can rent an electric buffer or something. Wouldn't bet on my getting around to it, though, since there's a lot of other stuff going on and chocolate season is just around the corner.

Had an OK bike ride today...40 miles with one very long hill...nothing particularly special/difficult, felt a little tired at the end though. I need to get out more often.

Learning to Weave--Deborah Chandler

Been reading through Learning to Weave by Deborah Chandler and have been quite impressed--she covers a broad range of topics and gives exercises to illustrate each of them. One could easily spend a year studying out of this book, at the end of which one would have learned a great deal about weaving.

It's clear to me that weaving is much like cooking--you can follow established recipes if you want to be safe, or you can strike out on your own. Learning to Weave is not unlike Cookwise in that it doesn't just give you recipes, it explains what's going on, food-chemistry-wise, so you can make your own adaptations. It's fascinating.

I may warp up the loom and do one or two pattern exercises/samples before the yarns arrive (scheduled to come in on Friday)--haven't decided yet--going down to Custom Handweavers today to look at their yarns and pick up a reed hook, maybe some back issues of Handwoven to read.

So today's tasks include getting dowels for my warping board (I got it free from a friend but it's missing the pegs), buying yarns/reed hook/whatever, going to an open studio art show being put on by a pair of friends, Lena's going-away party, and getting a replacement marble slab for chocolate-making.

Whew! It's going to be a busy day.

Tomorrow promises to be more relaxed, though--the only two items on the agenda are working a bit more on the book, and doing a long ride. I may warp up the loom, may not.

more on weaving

Well, so much for a simple starter project. I read through the book yesterday night and decided to skip the simple starter project (because I did those exercises already on the table loom) and jump right into a more complex project.

I'm already starting to get an understanding of the variables in weaving. The width of the sett (how far the warp threads are from each other) and the equivalent measure for the weft, together with the nature of the yarn, determine how drapey/firm/soft the finished cloth will be. The more open it is, the more drapey/airy; the more dense, the firmer it will be. I need to do some experimentation, but I think I have a fairly good grasp of the basic concepts--now I just have to master everything else.

Towards that, I have selected a pattern out of Handwoven Magazine's little booklet, "Scarves and Shawls for All Seasons". True to form, it's one of the most complex shawls in the booklet, the one called "Spring Flowers Shawl". I'm translating it from 2/14 silk/wool at 24 epi (ends per inch), which is probably too fine for a beginner's project, to a slightly less ambitious version at 12 epi in a Shetland wool. As far as I can tell, it's a pinwheel design in an advancing twill. That's about all I know right now. I did some back of the envelope calculations, and there should be plenty of yarn from the stuff I ordered to do up the shawl (twice, even!).

My thought on this pattern is that while it is (on the surface) relatively complex, most of the complexity is in the threading and the treadling pattern, both of which are relatively easy to manage as long as you're paying attention. Because I'm working in weavers' wool, the yarn should be relatively easy to handle, and because I'm setting it at a low 12 epi (the range given was 12-15 epi), I think it should come out drapey even though I've switched from silk to wool. I don't expect it to come out as fantastic as it would if I did it in silk/wool at a sett of 24 epi, but as a beginner's project I think it won't be bad. Let's be clear: this is not going to be a masterwork, but it won't be finger-twiddling either. I think it should be just complex enough to keep me interested.

I'll be verrrry interested in seeing how it turns out.

Decided that tomorrow (among other things) I'm going to go hunt for a replacement for that marble slab. Maybe granite? All I need is a stone with a high heat capacity...it'll be interesting to see what fancy colors I can get. I priced some stuff out on Craigslist, and don't think a replacement is going to break the bank.

I have a loom!

Bought and carried off my prize today, and just finished ordering the stuff I'll need to get weaving on it. A 12-dent reed, a few cones of weaving yarn, and four books on various aspects of weaving. (The latter aren't strictly necessary, but I like to read up on any new craft before performing it.) Should arrive sometime next week, then I can get on to weaving...of course, then it'll be chocolate month, so who knows when I'll actually get around to it?

No, I'll get to weaving eventually. It's something that's interested me for quite awhile, although in the past, I've found the theory more entertaining than the reality. Now that I finally have a working floor loom that has enough harnesses to be interesting, we'll see whether it holds my interest. If not, I'm pretty sure I can sell this Baby Wolf for more than I paid for it, so I'm not too worried. (I like to get all my equipment used, for precisely that reason.)

Saturday I'm going down to Custom Handweavers in search of a few items I couldn't find on Webs (an online yarn shop) - will also sit down and write some more on the book, which I have been neglecting the last few days. Sunday I'm going by the farmer's market in Mountain View in the morning, in search of dried apricots and dried pears which are oh-so-yummy when dipped in chocolate.

Saturday evening I'm also going to a party to say goodbye to Lena, who is about ready to return to India. I'm sorry she couldn't stay with me while she was here, but glad I get to see her before she leaves again. I may be traveling to India in the spring (although that seems increasingly less likely), and if so, I'll see her again then. It does seem likely that they'll be back and forth for visits with some regularity. I hope so--I like Lena a lot.

Saturday I may also do some investigation into replacing my marble slab. It's been with me for something like 14 years now and is pretty scratched up - thinking I may want to replace it before this season's chocolate extravaganza starts. I'll probably wind up keeping it, but... *shrug*.

And, of course, either Saturday or Sunday I'll go out riding. Gotta keep in some semblance of shape, after all. Training season is right around the corner, starts in December.

Got the loom!!

I've been watching the loom on Craigslist, and the price dropped from $1500 to $1100. So I emailed the seller to ask if she'd be willing to take $1000 for it...she is! So I will pick it up sometime this week, and then I'll have a practically-new Baby Wolf plus bobbins, shuttles, bobbin winder, etc. at about half the retail price.

Sent an email off to the director of AIDS Lifecycle and got back a convivial but noncommittal response...he's asked their media team about sharing their contact list, and will ask the CEO of the Gay & Lesbian Center if she's willing to be interviewed for the book. That's all I could really ask for. Even if they come back and say "We want to see the book first," that's fine--I just need something that isn't a solid "no". Hopefully, I'll get a "maybe".

But if I don't, no matter--I'll just keep plugging away. I won't be stopped on this thing, no matter what.

But a loom! Now I have to (re)learn to weave.

Proposal is out!

Well, the proposal is winging its way to the agent (Andrea Hurst, http://www.andreahurst.com, for those interested), and I can finally relax. It'll take her a couple weeks to review it, during which I won't be submitting to anyone else, so that leaves me free to work on the book some more, and play with chocolate. In any event the proposal is complete. From here on out it's just a matter of submitting it to agent after agent until I find one, or give up and go directly to publishers.

I feel relieved. I know there are people who would spend the entire next couple of weeks biting their nails, but I'm pretty good at letting go of things I can't change. I'm not desperately worried about finding an agent because I believe it's going to happen. It's a good book, I have a good proposal, and I have a writing coach with a great deal of experience guiding me along. (Hal Zina Bennett, http://www.halzinabennett.com. Has helped over 200 writers get published, including a friend of mine.) Also I have a pretty good record of getting what I want, even if it takes awhile. Hell, if I have to, I'll self-publish this book. So whether this particular agent likes it or not isn't a burning issue for me--I *know* it's good.

I'm reminded suddenly of a passage out of Rainier Maria Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet:

------
You ask whether your verses are any good. You ask me. You have asked others before this. You send them to magazines. You compare them with other poems, and you are upset when certain editors reject your work. Now (since you have said you want my advice) I beg you to stop doing that sort of thing. You are looking outside, and that is what you should most avoid right now. No one can advise or help you - no one. There is only one thing you should do. Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write. This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your while life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse.

...

And if out of this turning-within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. Nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it.
------

That's this book, and that's why I'm not that worried about one or more agents. They're a means to an end, not a judgment on the work.

That said, it would be AWFULLY nice if this particular agent said "yes" - then I could get to work on the next phase, getting published.

Still musing about how to approach AIDS Lifecycle. I suspect I may go on musing for a few more days.

Meanwhile, a pattern for a fancy dress has arrived from Vogue. It's another of the off-the-shoulder numbers, but this one's got small sleeves and enormous poofy fabric roses (6-8" in diameter as far as I can tell) on the dress. I figure if I cut it down to thigh-length I should have a nice little dress-pattern, and the big roses would be fun to try on a tutu.

The pinon nuts I ordered a month or two ago have arrived. They're every bit as tasty as the pinon nuts I remember climbing up a tree to get about ten years ago, but they're only half the size--not sure if that's a species difference or just the blight that's devastated the crop this year. At any rate, I have ten pounds of them, which will be plenty to chew my way through. I've already made a good start--they're yummy!!

What else...I think that's it!

Fully prepped proposal

Okay. I have calmed down a little (not much) after spending the afternoon putting the final touches on the proposal. Photos printed, mounted, neatly labeled, placed in the same folder as the proposal, which has been gone over twice at least. Printed on nice quality paper with the printer at the highest quality setting (not that it should make much difference for text, but you never know), carefully arranged just so, put into a folder, ready to mail.

I feel much like the instant, in a Weapons fight, before one makes the first move.

The gibbering fear has vanished, replaced by a calm certainty that yes, this is what I am going to do. No matter what happens.

Now that my proposal is going out to agents, I need to shore up my support with AIDS Lifecycle. Which means it's time to reach out to the director of AIDS Lifecycle, and finally ask the question: will they support me in this project? I have been putting off the answer to this for a very long time, not wanting to be shattered by a "no", but it's time to float the question, I think. So I'm working on composing an email to the director of ALC, asking for twenty minutes of his time, so I can "pitch" the book to him and ask for his support.

I'm thinking through, very carefully, all the things I want to ask for and the approach I want to take. This is the sort of situation where you have one chance to get it right--which is not a reason to be terrified of it, but a reason to make sure you're prepared. So I don't expect to do it immediately, but sometime over the next 4-5 days. That will be my "book work" for the next few days.

(I am probably stressing way too much about this, since I know that Chris, the director, is quite supportive of this project and also likes me personally, but what the hell.)

Meanwhile, I have purchased another 3 kg of chocolate and 3 kg of cocoa powder, and am going to spend the next few hours cleaning up the mess in the garage. The fiber arts explosion has gotten a little bit out of hand, so I'm going to try reining it in before proceeding with other stuff.

Agents!

So, I re-sent my proposal to my writing coach (it apparently got lost the first time round), and asked him if he'd had a chance to get in touch with the agent in Sacramento that he thought might be a good fit. He responded by sending emails off to *three* agents, one of whom has already responded and wants to see my proposal!!

I'm saying my prayers at the moment. Very fast because I'm excited. Actually, I'm running around going "Ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod what am I going to do now??" and jumping up and down a bit. Not that I'm nervous, you understand. It's just that...the horse is FINALLY in the starting gate, and I FINALLY have a chance to move on from simply writing in a vacuum to....publishing?

And I finally have a chance to start picking up rejections. I think that's part of what's got me worried, too.

But I've decided not to overanalyze it, and simply to enjoy the moment.

The horse is out of the starting gate, and soon we'll find out if it's any good. The proposal goes out as soon as I understand what format it goes into, and where I send it.

Yay!

Chocolate season

So, Esmeralda is repaired and re-painted, and I'm picking her up tomorrow. I'm hoping she doesn't come out looking like Frankentruck--cross fingers and hope! I adore my lovely little pickup truck, and I want her looking as good as ever.

Meanwhile, of course, we are inching ever-closer to Chocolate Season. Yep, that month of the year when Tien puts everything else aside to create a chocolate extravaganza, culminating in 4 days of crazed chocolate-making at Thanksgiving! This weekend Made in France (my Valrhona chocolate source) is having one of their warehouse sales, and I'm going there to buy some more cocoa and possibly some extra chocolate.

Plans for the month of November:

• Nov 4-5: chocolate-dipped pears and apricots
• Nov 11-12: chocolate-covered caramels, cherry-almond clusters
• Nov 18-19: various kinds of fudge, English toffee, prep molded chocolates
• Nov 23-26: finish molded chocolates, make truffles, put chocolates into candy cups, box up chocolates, and mail!

Meanwhile, I am not forgetting The Book...I wrote a section on Tilmin climbing a tough hill with help from Scott the Cheerleader this morning, and will lay the groundwork for a section on Warren the Sweep tonight or tomorrow. It's going much faster now that I understand the basic style and intent of the book. Having written the outline makes things much simpler, as now I just have to write each chapter to meet the outline. There will undoubtedly be changes, but the structure is there.

Nothing much on costumery...it will probably take a back seat for the next month, as all roads lead to CHOCOLATE!!

Aargh.

Well, I've now accidentally sideswiped Esmeralda (my pickup). A truck full of steel bars and re-bar stopped right in front of me, and I didn't leave quite enough clearance, as I didn't think about the re-bar sticking out the end. The net of it is that Esmeralda now has a long scratch along one of her body panels that is going to cost $1200-1400 to repair.

(I suppose I could just leave her as-is, since the damage is purely cosmetic, but I'm proud of (not to mention fond of) my dear sweet little truck, and I can't stand thinking that my carelessness caused such a major blemish. So I will have her repainted at the very least, and very probably repaired. Fortunately, I got a quarterly bonus that will pay for it, even though I had intended to use it on other things. Oh well. As I've often said, problems that can be solved by writing a check aren't really problems--not on the order of cancer or domestic violence, for example. This is annoying but not catastrophic.)

No other real news--last night I was too tired to do any writing or fiber arts work. I might have dinner with Lena tomorrow or the day after, though.

Sunday marks the kickoff of the AIDS Lifecycle training rides! I've signed up for the 8-mile flat ride, mostly to cheer on a friend who's just left the couch potato world to start training for AIDS Lifecycle. I'll probably do my "real" training ride on Saturday, or late on Sunday.

New tchotchky!

I just got an Adobe mug to commemorate my 1-year anniversary here.

Wow, has it really been that long??

I guess it has...

Foo.

Looks like there was a typo in the price of the loom: instead of $500, the owner wants $1500 for it! That's nearly the price of a new Baby Wolf, so I'm going to pass. Oh well. At least this way it's not taking up space in my apartment, and I have an extra $500 to do stuff with. I'm easy.

Mike and I went down to Monterey Friday night because he had a half-marathon to run in Big Sur on Saturday. While he was running his half-marathon, I sat with my new ultralight with the nice new high-capacity battery and wrote all of Ginger Brewlay's story (2-3 pages' worth). I definitely like this "portable writing" thing, and I LOVE the ultralight.

On the way back, we were going to go by the Monterey Aquarium, but the line to get in was daunting (over 1/2 hour) and Mike was tired, so we headed up north to Santa Cruz in hopes of getting some Donnelly Chocolates. Alas, they had closed for the day (out sick), so we got no chocolates, but I did stop by The Golden Fleece and buy some sock yarn, and some red yarn with holographic rings in it, which I will put into my crazy-quilt top. The sock yarn is simply inexplicable, as is the sock I started once I got home. It has nothing to do with anything except that, apparently, I can't stop knitting socks. Even if I've sworn off them.

I've sold the four baby boas to East Bay Vivarium--as cute as the little tykes are, I didn't really have space or a setup for them. Trying to buy pinkies to feed them would have been a real pain, as I don't know any place in the city that carries them--the closest place for baby snake chow, that I know of, is Sunnyvale, and that's quite a drive to get baby food. So they're gone, and I'm mildly relieved.

Astarte is still with me, though--I decided not to get rid of him just yet. It's another six months or so until breeding season starts again, so I'm "safe" for that long at least--currently on the hunt for another male of good color. If I don't find one in the next few months, then I'll sell Astarte and just leave Isis on her own in the cage. Snakes aren't particularly social creatures (the best you can say is that they tolerate other creatures), so she shouldn't be particularly upset by that.

That's all I can think of for this weekend...it's been a singularly unproductive weekend, perhaps because the Big Sur trip took up all of Friday and most of Saturday. Maybe better later.

Off to bed...have to go work out in the morning.

Found a loom!

After several weeks of watching, I've spotted an 8-harness Baby Wolf loom on Craigslist. I sent an email off to the seller--hoping I get it. (I imagine I will, since I sent the email off a scant 18 minutes after the listing was posted, but you never know what kind of maniacal loom-hunting obsessive type might be out there...not that we know anyone that fits THAT description... :-) )

I wanted a Baby Wolf because it's the smallest and most compact of the floor looms I've seen--I saw one down at the Fabulous Fiber Fest in Santa Monica and fell in love with it. It's small enough to be stowed away in a closet when not in use, yet it's a fully functional floor loom. The weaving width is only 26", so I won't be weaving horse blankets on it, but that's plenty wide enough to do scarves, table runners, and clothing panels. And it has eight harnesses, which means I'll be able to weave relatively complex designs.

Now I just have to wait a couple hours to see if I get it!

Finished my book proposal!

Packed the whole thing up into a single file and sent it to my writing coach, along with the seven photos for the sample chapter. Query letter's done. All that's left is to wait and see what kinds of edits he comes back with...!

I'm way excited at the prospect of being done with the proposal. Of course, that just means I get to start working on the book again. There's a lot that I can't yet work on, but there are a lot of stories that I can write up as is. And, of course, I can get back to scheduling interviews, etc. Plenty to do, even while waiting interminably for publishers to get back to me with rejections.

I should ask my coach how long it typically takes to sell a book. If it's a year or more, then I could quite conceivably have the manuscript complete before I manage to sell it.

Battered woman

So I went home from work yesterday feeling snarky about a tiff I'd just had with my product manager--snarky enough that I forgot I was going to pick up Mike and just stormed straight home. Of course, fifteen minutes after I got home, Mike called and mentioned that he was going to be on the shuttle, so I turned around and went back to pick him up. I got there early, and as I was sitting in Esmeralda (my truck) waiting for him, a woman knocked on my truck window.

She was nearly hysterical--for which I can hardly blame her--but it eventually came out that she had just had her husband arrested for domestic violence, she had no money, and she desperately needed someone to take her and her baby down to San Mateo's battered women's shelter. (All the SF and East Bay shelters were already full.) So I talked with Mike, and we wound up agreeing that he would take the bus home and I would take her down to San Mateo.

She was terrified because, while the judge had refused to release him until he posted bail, he wasn't able to give her a restraining order since both their names were on the lease, giving her husband the legal right to be in the house. Her husband had immediately started the process of posting bail, and she didn't know when he was going to get out and come home (and, presumably, come after her).

Eventually we worked out that, since she was not comfortable taking the baby in a car without a baby seat, she would take a bus to Caltrain and Caltrain down to San Mateo, where the battered women's shelter would pick her up. She had no cash--her husband had taken it all--so I gave her all the cash I had in my wallet (about $100), took her home so she could get her baby, and made sure she was clear and on her way to the bus before leaving.

I'm happy to have been of service to someone who desperately needed it--I hope she comes out of it OK--and all in all, I think I've decided that my product manager's snarkiness isn't such a big deal. I used to volunteer with the Support Network for Battered Women, so domestic violence is something I'm deeply concerned about--glad I was able to help her.

Dharma teachings

Went to one of Lena's teachings last night. It's odd (to me) to think of Lena as a Dharma teacher, as I mostly know her as a healer and a friend. She treated me for the bipolar disorder using acupuncture and Chinese herbs, and got me stabilized until we found a (Western) medication combination that works for me. If not for her, I'd be dead by now, so I owe my life to her. I don't take that lightly, but I don't dwell on it, either. What's mine is hers, if she's ever in need. Otherwise, we're simply friends, which suits me just fine. :-)

Anyway, Lena taught for about an hour and a half on Tibetan meditation techniques in the Dzog-chen lineage, most of which would flatten out if I tried to explain it to you (some of it also went over my head, as I'm not a practiced meditator). It was grounding, and also fascinating. I wish I had enough time to spend six months in retreat, meditating, but (as Lena pointed out) I'm still too young/restless/energetic to go into retreat without engaging in some fantastically creative project that would obviate the whole idea, so perhaps it's better to wait until later. :-) I'm considering adding meditation to my daily practice, but am not sure about it--it's not the time so much as the mental focus and commitment. I have too many irons in the fire already, and one more item to juggle is perhaps a bit too much.

But I will think about it...I could use the groundedness and insight that meditation brings.

I am also considering sponsoring a meditator. There are a number of yogis and nuns in the caves at Rewalsar who need people to sponsor them in their meditation retreats. The exchange rate being what it is, it only costs about $20/month to sponsor a yogi/nun/child (the children don't meditate; they go to school instead), and it's a nice thing to do. I've been up in the cave community, and it would be nice to give something back. Haven't decided firmly on it, but I'm thinking about it...will talk to Lena about it more next week.

Book-wise, I have put the entire proposal into a single Word file, created a table of contents and a title page, and done some light edits on it. I'm going to give it a look-over tonight, add the photos, zip up the file, and email it to my writing coach for a final review. He, meanwhile, is doing some inquiries about agents for me, and hopefully should be able to save me from having to do "cold" submissions to agents. If he isn't able to find someone for me, then I'll start networking.

I got my ostrich feathers! They are big and red and plumy. I'm definitely doing an ostrich-feather tutu for Red Dress Day. Now I just need the top to go with it...!

Got some books from Amazon...

One of my long-awaited packages arrived today, containing Draping for Fashion Design and Foot Soldiers: Stories from the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk. (I'm still waiting for two more books and 25 red ostrich feathers.) Can't wait to get into them...I plan to make myself (with Mike's help) a brown-paper-tape dress dummy and try draping.

I also want to read Foot Soldiers because it's the most obviously parallel book to the one I'm writing. It seems to have a totally different angle, though--she's writing stories about women's battles with breast cancer, I'm writing stories about courage. There's overlap, but the focus is different, I think. But I'll have to read more to know for sure.

I'm of two minds about Draping for Fashion Design. On the one hand, I would love to learn about draping, and pattern design, in the abstract. On the other hand, I must face the fact that I have three major Projects going on at the moment and that my time on this earth is strictly limited. If I'm going to do a crazy-quilt top, dye and stamp my own fabrics, write a book, and incidentally train for AIDS Lifecycle and the Markleeville Death Ride, I probably don't have time to learn about draping unless it is directly and immediately applicable to making better patterns for my costumes. I may be better off waiting until my friend finishes the pattern he's making for me.

Nonetheless, it sounds really interesting and I'm tempted by it. I will probably take a cruise through the book and see how much effort it would be to drape a costume. I think it's fairly likely to wind up filed in my book collection, though.

I'm frustrated. Life is so short and there are so many things I want to get done, so many things I want to learn...! Where on earth do other people find TIME?

Praise

From my writing coach, in response to my draft of my query letter:

"I have to say that your work on it was excellent. You're getting to be a real pro with this stuff. I've worked with 100s of people over months and even years and they never got it as fast as you have. Bravo."

Yay!

Finished my query letter

Drafted it up today and am pretty happy with it, except my inability to fit it onto one page. (It's about five lines over the limit, and I can't seem to cut it any further.) I've fired it off to my writing coach to see what he thinks of it, and also to ask his permission to drop his name to any agents he refers me to. Hope to hear back from him in a day or three.

That does not, however, mean I'm done with the proposal. I've still got some cleaning-up to do: there are some areas where I borrowed verbatim from the proposal for the query letter (and hence now have to revise the proposal so it will be different), and I need to clean up the formatting, add my name/contact info in the headers and footers, and quite a bit of other tedious-yet-necessary stuff. I estimate another 2-3 days' effort there.

But I won't tackle it tonight. I'm not sure what else I'm going to do tonight. I may just go to sleep: whatever had me down earlier is still dragging at me, and I'm not sure I feel up to anything else creative. (And if you're not going to be creative, what's the point in being awake?)

Maybe next weekend I'll get around to stamping that fabric...

I think I might be coming down with something...

Slept nine hours Friday night (and still needed a nap in the afternoon), slept eleven hours last night, and still feeling kind of run-down and icky--sounds like I'm fighting off some kind of virus. I may sleep some more this morning.

But I have made a few minor bits of progress...I went over and got measured for my fashion-designer friend to make a pattern. He's pretty busy right now so won't be able to draft a pattern until mid-November, but at least we've gotten the ball rolling. I also stopped by East Bay Vivarium and discovered that they'll buy baby Brazilian rainbow boas at $75 apiece--that's half of retail ($150) but a lot less hassle than trying to sell them privately. They'll also pay $125-150 for Astarte, I'm still mulling that over.

I've also selected seven photos to go with my sample chapter, and have been touching them up in Photoshop--converting them to black-and-white, removing splotches, and so on. I've started writing my query letter. Haven't gotten very far on it thus far, but it's an iterative process--now that I've started work on it, I'm fairly certain inspiration will come.

And once the query letter's finished...I'm DONE!! I'll have to revise the package to make sure it holds together well, but I'll be ready to send the package off to agents and publishers.

Which leaves me free to start working on the actual book again...

Anyway, I'm tired and feeling nappish. I still have a 3.5-hour bike ride to do this afternoon, so I'm going back to sleep for a bit. The book (and other creative endeavors) can wait until later.